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After staying in hostels for 3 weeks in Europe, my standard for lodging has dropped. If there’s a bed, working bathroom and air condition, I’m relieved. So when Rachel, my partner in crime in Europe/quarterlife crisis, accepted a job the same day as me, we decided we had to have a last hurrah. Destin was our first thought, but with Fay running its way through Florida, we ditched that idea. Then we found out her dear grandmother had a free night at Beau Rivage in Mississippi (yeah yeah, not the ideal, but free night in a pretty posh place). Decision made!
On the way to Rachel’s, I had the feeling something was wrong with the brakes but forgot about it (I swear, I never learn to listen to the voice in my head). Of course, this haunted me later. On our happy blue sky way to Mississippi, I asked Rachel if she felt the road was slanted and how strange that was. She gave me a “you’re crazy” look and we kept on driving. But life likes to mess with me and a few minutes later, the car started vibrating and down goes my back left tire. I managed to pull over on a wide section of the shoulder and we both got out and stared at the horror of the tire rubber in pieces. As much as I hate to admit it, I can’t change a tire to save my life. I know the general procedure, but not confident enough to do it and feel safe driving. Two minutes later, a cop magically showed up and with no questions asked, changed our tire and we were on our way in 15. Talk about an angel! Didn’t hurt he wasn’t bad looking. I guess I just have horrible luck with road trip snafus. With the burning tire in the trunk, we headed to our destination.
Mrs. Sheila met us at the hotel and showed us our VIP room. It was massive with beautiful beds, large bathroom the size of some of our hostel room and a pretty flat screen. Apparently gambling a lot means a lot of free things and VIP treatment because after a swim in the pretty pool, free amazing buffet (you know, the casino kind where there’s EVERYTHING) and some gambling, we came back to a dimly lit room with music turned on, chocolates on our pillow and turn-down service.
After a relaxing night, we got in the car with the burning tire to find out that Gustav was headed our way. Sigh. Vacation over. After some obligatory joking, we faced the reality. The “good news” is I was moving to Austin this weekend anyway with little stress due to everything being still packed up. The bad news is if there’s an evacuation, the entire city is going to flee on the same day I leave. 5 hours to Houston turns into 15 and as much as I love road trips, sitting in the car at a standstill is not fun. Then came the realization that if I left early, I would also have to prep the house as if a hurricane was coming. Given that my parents are out of the country still and my sister isn’t the most responsible person, I suddenly realized I had to undergo my first evacuation alone (I was in St. Louis during Katrina).
Locating important documents, cleaning the back yard, moving things slightly higher and packing my car ended up sending me into a frozen state; for about three hours, I hid in my room to avoid the 94 degree sun and watched a movie. My neighbors already cornered me and demanded that I knock on their door if we needed anything (Mr. L started cutting our grass when my dad got sick). But it is what it is and part of being an adult is facing the reality of the situation, so I packed the car (fourth time this summer) and somehow managed to get everything done without having another breakdown.
So off I go to my new life tomorrow; I desperately hope I’ll have this life to return to. But like all true New Orleanians, I’m not going to worry until I have to worry. Most likely, it won’t hit or we’ll get some flooding, so until then, I’m going to take a breath and dive into the next chapter! Luck to all those leaving or staying. I’m sad to miss out on those hurricane parties. 
Ah, July 4th. The holiday of fireworks, patriotism and good BBQ. For me, it’s another chance for a random adventure. This time, somehow convincing 2 high school friends who were driving back to Houston, to accompany me on a spontaneous road trip to Austin (a city I’m considering for the future). We had a nice chill holiday together, coasting around town with 80s music playing and the windows down, so what better way to spend the rest of the weekend, but on a roadtrip?
So off we went. We packed up B’s (who happens to be a best friend’s HS ex-bf) little silver Camara and shoved me in the back in the tiny spot next to the boxes and clothes and luggage. B’s best friend, Mr. Former Crush, joined us since he had to be at work on Monday in Houston. With the wind blowing our hair and chatting about old times, I felt like I was 18 again: back in the days of single-sex schools and weekend double dates and driving around town looking for something to do. About an hour away from Houston, where we had planned to unload the car at their apartment and switch cars, we heard a loud bang. The air-condition went out, the power steering stopped functioning and we were suddenly pulling off the nearest exit into Beaumont, TX.
We looked everywhere for a gas station, but there was nothing. No gas station, no hotel, no motel, nothing. As in, the entire “downtown” was shut down like it had been deserted. After mangaging to get the car into a random parking lot and calling insurance for a tow truck, we had an hour to wait around, so we attempted to explore the town. Except there was nothing to explore. It felt like the beginning of a horror movie. Good thing it was still daylight or we all would have been packed in the car with no air, freaked out and afraid to leave.
It was pretty much a ghost town. We joked who would get killed first (since I was the only girl and the minority, I was voted in), what would happen if we had to stay for the weekend and how long it would take to walk to Houston. We circled the same blocks over and over again in the summer heat, passing what we thought was the only lodging in town with a few people creepily sitting frozen outside, only to discover it was a nursing home. So we walked and walked and found nothing but deserted streets and closed buildings, including Subway (“What?! 6pm on a Saturday and Subway is closed?”). By the time the tow truck shows up, we’ve thought of every scenario possible. With nothing open until Monday, we would most likely be stuck for the weekend with no car, sleeping at a Motel 6 and getting drunk if we could find a liquor store.
Our friendly tow trucker, Roundtree (that’s the actual name he gave us), confirmed our fears. Nothing was open. Motel 6, iHop and Taco Bell would be our only companions this weekend, but he would happily bring us to a liquor store to stock up. We had long figured out the fan belt had snapped so theoretically, it was an easy fix. As we pondered over our next move, Roundtree put some phone calls in and said he could bring us to his friend’s to look at the car, but we would first make a stop at AutoZone to buy a belt. The next thing we knew, we were sitting in the tow truck (thank God for air condition) with a $40 fan belt and pulling into the ghettos of Beaumont, TX. A crowd of men drinking beer and surrounded by cars came up and 20 minutes later, after much joking and talking, the fan belt was fixed. Total cost for service: $10 (we tipped $5 for the incredibly friendly help). Yes, that’s right. We got stranded and Nowhere, TX and go out, having spent only $55. Lesson learned: Always have an extra fan belt with you (according to the team of men that fixed the car, this is one of the most common problems).
And despite the fact it was dark when we reached Houston, we went to Austin anyway. Got in at midnight, found a hotel and ran around Sixth Street taking shots (I rarely, if ever drink, but given the occasion, I honored the guys for their patience) and crashed at the hotel.
Of course, the trip is not without a little bit of angst. Despite that I’m over the feelings, it’s impossible not to feel that tug of attraction to Mr. Former Crush, especially since it’s been a little lonely with no job to distract me. I’ve been resigned to the fact he sees me as a best friend/sister (his words to his new girlfriend who I have yet to meet), but it doesn’t make it easier when he’s sleeping in only his boxers in the next bed and we’re whispering in the dark and listening to B snore.
When we got back to Houston, B’s ex-gf (my best friend who is in Houston also now) popped up for pizza and a movie (we’ve remained good friends through the years) and we by chance, found a pre-Katrina New Orleans documentary on Discovery. It felt like we had gone back in time 10 years and I wanted to laugh at how much had changed, but how some things always remained the same: B and Mr. Former Crush arguing like a married couple, my best friend and I commenting about our unknown futures and mentioning funny ancedotes from the past. But then she leaves and B goes to sleep in his bedroom and the other goes to his and I lay on the couch wondering if I’m destined to always be the best friend/sister to all guys in my life.
There are two things my mom asked me to do on this trip, despite the fact I’m 25 and clearly been on my own for a long time:
1) Don’t sleep on the floor or even sit (she’s been telling me this since I was a kid).
2) DO NOT rent a car in Europe (even though I learned to drive manual in case there was an emergency).
I broke rule #1 by day two and rule #2 by day three. And I had a pleasure doing them. The ferry ride to the islands were so crowded on Sunday that we had to sleep on the ground. Good thing I stole that Delta blanket off that flight…
The car rental in Naxos was a last minute idea and something I never thought we would do, but since it’s the biggest island in the Cyclades (and no public transport), it’s the only way to get around to the beaches and sites. I guess I’m the responsible one or something because next thing I knew, I was handing over my credit card for the car (automatic, thank God). And it was one of the most insane adventures of my life. Driving around Naxos isn’t like driving around a regular city; it’s an island with numerous massive mountains with only ONE road through the entire place. It meant going up and down tiny winding roads with no guard rails with other cars possibly around the corner with no concept of slowing down to not hit you. The view was worth every euro. It was breathtaking. I can’t even explain… I swear I’ll post pics soon.
The beaches in Naxos were equally incredibly. We swam in the Mediterranean in between giant cliffs. Beautiful sand, perfectly clear water and amazing weather. Blue sky and sunny and 77 every day.
We’re in Santorini now and each time I think I’ve done the most insane thing I could do, we top it. Today, we rented dune buggies and drove around the island. I’ve never driven one before but I gotta say, I’m addicted now. We drove to Kamari where there are black-sand beaches and the ancient city of Thira. Too bad Thira is on top of a mountain with another winding road (it’s literally a zig zag on the map). But this time, it was even scarier with a dune buggy and a chance to be blown off with the strong winds. When we finally got up there, we had to hike another mile up a ridiculous wind (we had to hug the rocks) to reach Thira. Going back down the mountain was even scarier! But we made it and ended our day climbing the cliffs to the Red Beach and watching the famous sunset at the Caldera.
I never in my dreams thought this trip would be like this! I still miss St. Louis a little, mostly the people and wish they would be here with me to share this incredible adventure. Tomorrow, off to the volcano and hot springs! I’m officially in love with Greece.
On the 10 hour drive today, I had a lot of time to think about everything that’s happened. I cried for the first 20 minutes and then slapped my head when I realized I was so distracted, I had gone 1-44 West all the way down to Pacific (the route we went yesterday to float) and completely missed 1-270 fifty minutes ago. Not a great way to start the trip. Good thing it’s my favorite stretch of road to drive because the scenery is so breathtaking. I had to flip back a few times on the drive due to my mind being completely somewhere else and each time, the “ST. LOUIS [# miles]” would show up, I was tempted to keep heading back. The second I walked in the door, my mom started nagging me and I had to pay a pile of bills and unpack the car. At that moment, I realized how real it was I was no longer in another city.
I never ever fathomed it would be this hard. Or I did but never in the situation that I imagined for years. There was no tearful goodbye to him; I didn’t even see him in the last week. There was no goodbye at all. He just faded off my radar. Instead, my sadness and bittersweet goodbyes were towards the new people in my life – the girls from the last year that befriended me and made me feel so welcome, the new co-workers from a job that fell in my lap and the two guys that suddenly became a big part of my life in the last week. Isn’t that funny? The one situation that caused me so much grief and every emotion possible in the last 6 years was barely on my mind as I drove away today. I wouldn’t have been so miserable in STL for so many years if it wasn’t for that, so it begs the question if I would have ever bothered to leave. Or if I would have left earlier. I guess it doesn’t matter anymore other that I got ever a massive obstacle in my life that I never thought I would and now I’m about to start this unknown new chapter of my life.
I can’t seem to think about the future right now. Not even tomorrow or the day after because right now, my heart seems to be somewhere floating along a river or in the car on a last minute road trip through small town Missouri. He asked me last Sunday night why we hadn’t become friends sooner or hung out more. Not for lack of trying on my part, buddy. Despite knowing each other for a year, I guess our friendship didn’t exist until this week. I’m pretty damn sure the chemistry has always been there. But this is the way life falls and it wasn’t meant for anything more than that. And I think I’m okay with it, even though our eyes do meet in humorous moments and in such a short time, we wordless share sandwiches and the occasional drink as if we’ve been doing it for years. I didn’t jump that cliff for him. I can promise that. But I did jump knowing he would at the bottom to yank me out when I panicked and drowned. I don’t remember much of it other than jumping, screaming, closing my eyes and hitting the water and getting pulled out. A lot of laughter, patting on the back and the girls on the shore thinking I was insane.
I miss my apartment. Not that I don’t love being home, but that apartment was me, my space, my solace. It was painful closing the door behind and locking it one more time. The first thing that went in was the last thing that went out as a friend helped me lug the old Walmart futon mattress (that has slept many guests) to the dumpster. He seemed a bit bummed too; it was his first post-college apartment as much as it was mine and hearing our voices echo made me want to blink my eyes back to the way it looked a month ago. I never thought leaving St. Louis would be so heartbreaking. It actually felt like those days after the end of a relationship when you know it was the best choice, but that feeling in your chest won’t go away.
And I just got an email from this guy, basically saying he was sad I was gone and thanking me for a cupcake and note I sent him right before I left. Hilarious. Good timing, buddy.
It’s weird slowing down. I’m so used to being on the go and now I just have time to breathe. It’s a good thing, but the workaholic in me is itching to do something. But I have to do this one day at a time, at my own pace and remember to continually living my life like I have in the last 6 months: with heart, with exuberant passion and with an undying desire for adventure.
chemistry:
1) the science that deals with the composition and properties of substances and various elementary forms of matter
2) chemical properties, reactions, phenomena, etc.: the chemistry of carbon.
3) the interaction of one personality with another: The chemistry between him and his boss was all wrong.
4) sympathetic understanding; rapport: the astonishing chemistry between the actors.
5) any or all of the elements that make up something: the chemistry of love
I have a strange fascination with chemistry between people. Does chemistry only exist if it’s mutual? If neither person acknowledges it out loud to the other, is it actually there or just in one person’s imagination? Is it then just attraction? Chemistry is such a frustrating and amazing thing. It’s a mixture of lust and a spark of emotional/intelligent connection and when it suddenly pops up, your heart feels warm and possibly like it might pop out of your chest at any minute.
But, of course, there’s always obstacles in the way. Chemistry is frustrating that way. Social dynamics of a group, girlfriends, boyfriends, distance, etc., etc. But despite all that, it’s still nice to get that little thrill in your chest and know that there’s people out there that you can have such a connection with. His are the eyes that you catch anytime something funny happens in the room. When you’re alone, all you can think about the hope he kisses you. He finds you interesting and wonders why y’all weren’t friends sooner and says how much he admires you for what you’re about to do. Boom boom boom goes the heart.
I had the one of the best days in a long time: one of those perfect summer days that makes me realize I’m so damn lucky and feeling happy is an incredible feeling. During lunch with 2 new guy friends (one which I have the above chemistry with, but as usual, he has a girlfriend), I threw out I had a tradition (started last year with Smallbone) of spontaneous adventure on Memorial Day. The next thing I knew, they had agreed to go with me to Elephant Rock State Park, a place I’ve been itching to go to for years. Most people would have scoffed at doing a 2 hour road trip so late in the day, but they were completely game and off we went through the back roads of Missouri. Not once did they look at the time and say, “It’s getting late. We really should get going.” They barely checked their watches, other to say, “It’s still early!”
The park was everything I had hoped and much more. The giant granite boulders were for some serious hiking and climbing and anytime I had to jump over a huge gap, the guys were both incredibly encouraging, making sure we took routes that my shorter legs could take safely. Unlike most people that get annoyed with my constant picture taking, they made sure I had my camera and continually took photos whenever they held the camera when I jumped. I get this is what guys should do, but it’s not done enough: being accommodating, nice and patient and I left feeling the most energetic I’ve felt in a long time.
So despite we had work tomorrow morning, we took our time driving back, watching the scenery and little towns and the gorgeous sunset. Even more of a clue we were fated to be friends: They wanted to stop by a small town diner for some good food (I’m a huge fan of this). The place we chose was sketch though and even though the name was “Frogz,” their frog legs looked like it had just came off the amphibian and smelled like it was picked from the pond outside. It did NOT taste good or like chicken legs (and I’ve had good frog legs before). We ran out after that.
It’s a shame I discovered them so late in my life here. It’s even more of a shame I didn’t realize how good I had it here until recently. I thought for the longest time I was alone here as I watched my college friends filter out the city. But in this last year, I’ve made some incredible new friends and social/professional network and it hurts a little I’m leaving. But nothing worth doing was ever easy, right? I’m leaving on a high note with a great memory of a spontaneous road trip with bad frog legs and a crush that makes me feel 15 again…even if he has a girlfriend.
