by Jane Moneypenny
It never gets easier with each guy. One would think after the big crap breakup of a lifetime, any guy after that would be a breeze. The second he treats you bad or ignores you or familiar signs creep up that scream “Warning! Just like the last one!”, a person would go running. But the heart is apparently more persistent than thought because it’ll keep pushing to try harder and give it another chance. In attempt to only invest 25% in a new relationship, I end up obsessing myself with that number and end up investing more in the process of trying to limit myself. And then you’re stuck, emotionally strung to a guy that ends up going MIA. When does it get easier?
I’m not looking for a boyfriend or a relationship but it still hurts when things don’t pan out. No regrets, of course. But it’s draining to pick myself up again and pretend I’m completely great with it all.
Plain and simple, the world is full of men. Everywhere you turn, there’s a man. Look — there goes one now! A wise woman once told me that men are like city buses: If you miss one, there will always be another. I decided that, from now on, I would not assign any man too much meaning too early on. I am not going to worry that I won’t find “it” again. I will not worry that I’ll end up in a rocking chair surrounded by cats and empty wine bottles. I will remember that there will always be another.
Smallbones and I are using it as guidance for the new year. And not even with men. Life situations in general that aren’t great for us, we say “next!”
So far, no downfalls (knock on wood) on my side. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard. Especially when it’s 7 degrees outside on a clear winter night and I not-so-secretly fantasize about having a nice warm body to cuddle up to. Bad guys are like an addiction sometimes: bad for you, but feels so good. Hard habit to break!