I Feel Like I was Duped. (or maybe I’m just paranoid)

by Penelope Smallbone

After day two, and only a tiny amount of brain power devoted to thinking about this possibility, I have decided that Mr. Superbowl will not call. Unlike usual, I didn’t spend hours reminiscing in my head about the wondrousness of the hookup. No, this enlightenment came early on. After realizing what the outcome will be, I began to think about the steps to get there.

Here are the pros, or why he might possibly call:
1. We spent a significant amount of time talking. I thought we had a lot in common. Would like to maybe talk to him again some time.
2. He maybe actually liked me, and was being honest when he said “I really want to see you again.”
3. He came to the bar to watch football and just happened to start a conversation with me, only to be pleasantly surprised by my charming wit and wicked knowledge of football. (ha)

Here are the cons, which are really just lines I’ve heard before that always end in failure:
1. He was a little too attentive to my needs. As though this was perhaps his only shot to prove his worth…
2. He called me beautiful. He complemented many parts of my body, as well as my hair and eyes. I realize I should probably be appreciative of this fact, but I have never had a guy say those things upon first meeting and then actually call me back.
3. He warned me that he’ll be out of town for a week or two and may not call. That’s like a “Get out of Jail Free” card in guy-speak. What that really means is, “I’ll think about it, see how I feel tomorrow… Eh, you have at best a 50/50 shot of ever seeing me again…”

There were more, but most of them sound even crazier and more paranoid than the three I listed. The really strange part is that only two days later (before he even has a chance to call me) I’ve already figured out that he’s not going to. And yet during the course of events I had no idea. Which is why I was duped. I can’t believe I wasn’t more skeptical…

The other thing I can’t get over is that I am actually not expecting him to call, despite the fact that he practically promised he would. How horrible is the general public in this world that I would expect to be ignored by someone new? I think it’s absurd. I should expect to be treated with compassion and respect, no matter what. Where have all the decent humans gone to set the bar? (wait… they’re all married. right…)

In the end, my mission was accomplished. I got some action post-superbowl. Whether or not he calls is up to him. Though I do think if he passes on this, he’s not nearly as great as he seems.