The One Where Everyone Hates Your S.O.

by Jane Moneypenny

I’ve noticed a lot of people have significant others that their group of friends hate. I’m not talking about a general dislike, but actual hatred for this person that has infiltrated their friend’s life and changed the entire dynamics of not only the group, but their friend’s behavior and life. The girl is usually deemed a bitch and the guy an asshole.

In the cases of general dislike, no one can say much. Two of my closest friends, in fact, have been dating the same guys for years and I’m not a fan of either. But I can’t speak up due to the sole fact that they’re happy and the guys treat them well. My personal dislike really holds no power. Yet, should we congratulate these boyfriends (or girlfriends) for treating your friend well and making them happy when this is the way it’s supposed to be?

Then there are the those situations where it really comes down to pure hatred that is actually justified. The person in question makes everyone miserable with his/her personality, is possessive, jealous, insecure and everything that is someone’s nightmare for your friend. What happens now? Who speaks up? If your friends hate one of the most important people in your life, do you end things? Then again, if I had a boyfriend that everyone adored but I was ready to end things with, I would end it because I need to do what’s best for me (see the Friends episode when Monica wants to end things but everyone loves her boyfriend). Can this situation be applied to the opposite if I really believe that this person is what’s best for me?

Even though I’m not dating anyone right now, I worry about it for the future. And for those friends that are dating people I really just can’t stand. I guess there really isn’t a clear solution to the dilemma.

On a slightly different topic change, I just found out a good friend from high school is pregnant. She’s been married a little less than a year and in the middle of med school, but if her message is any indication, they’re clearly excited (the multiple “!!!” was a big clue). Also, last week, a childhood friend sent a snail mail to announce her second child (her first one was unplanned but she was already engaged and on her way to marriage bliss). And this is only the tip of the iceberg. Numerous friends/acquatinances of my age have already popped out kids and are setting up their little house in the ‘burbs with the dog and the big backyard.

The situation only baffles me in that I can’t even get a date, nevertheless be thinking of raising a family. Granted, I could probably get pregnant faster than I could get a date, but I digress. The rest of my friends are in serious relationships or engaged or happily married. The good thing is I don’t feel rushed; I feel like I’m doing everything right on time.

On another note, I discovered Vampire Weekend on SNL last weekend and got my hands on the album and I gotta say, I’m in love with the ENTIRE thing. Usually it’s an occasional song, but Vampire Weekend has an unique fun sound that really works for any mood. Give it a listen; it’s my current obsession and is perfect for welcoming spring.

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