Mopey, Land of One

by Jane Moneypenny

It’s been awhile since I’ve felt so down about a guy. I mean, really down. Like truly bummed and sad.

Despite looking fabulous in my little green party dress for the office holiday shindig and hooking up with Mr. Co-Worker, I still got the short end of the stick. I’ll spare y’all the details of the drama with his crazy– like she’s off her rocker– date who is now threatening him (to make a long story short). Because at the deep down grittiness of it, we can only be friends. Whether or not there’s a work policy against it and I’m pretty sure there’s not, he just needs time and space to deal with Crazy Girl and working together doesn’t help the situation.

There were too many awkward elevator moments with co-workers asking him in the guy-talk way how things went with hot Crazy Girl (while I stood there) and I didn’t want to play games and give him the cold shoulder. So I took the initiative and sent him a funny witty email about avoiding future awkward moments in enclosed spaces and breaking all “hurt girl” rules and going for a drink after work.

And we did and we talked and I was honest. Very honest, even after finding out that Crazy Girl is, well, crazy. And he was honest. Obviously, I’m leaving out a LOT of the details, but it is what it is. “Don’t sh-t where you eat” and all that nonsense, so no matter how strong the chemistry is (I think he likes me? There was never confirmation), I’m now stuck with just occasionally glancing at him when I look up and the few lunch gatherings with others.

Ugh, this one hurts. Bad. I really like this one. We had so much in common, more than any guy I’ve met (we both want to quit our jobs and travel the world; get the same random injuries like pinched nerves and sliced fingertips and remain ridiculously close to our childhood friends). And of course, there will be others and all that talk, but for now, I just want to mope and be heartachey about this one.

This is making me not want a relationship even more. Too draining!