Attraction as Possibility

by Jane Moneypenny

I was chatting with an acquaintance recently about my consistent bad luck with men. As a “trained love expert” (he was trained by some famous teacher, Dr. Paul), he is confident about his abilities to diagnose people. I remain skeptical, of course.

N: You’re a romantic.

J: What? I thought I was a cynical realist.

N: Which means you’re a closeted idealist with scars on the surface (yes, he really said this).

J: Huh.

N: You told me before “chemistry” is confusing to you. It’s there and so you think you should grab onto it only to find it means nothing.

J: Mhmm

N: You see attraction as love.

J: Well, I wouldn’t say THAT. I haven’t been in love or loved in years and years. More like I see attraction as potential and possibility.

N: Right, so your problem is screening people.

And then he was adamant I read a book by Dr. Paul that would change my life because it changed his. Like some mysterious guide, he left the conversation with this, “Contact me again when you’ve read the book.”

Huh. I’ve definitely posted enough times on this blog about my confusion with chemistry and attraction. Is it an indicator of anything? In my experiences, it ends up getting me hurt because I thrive so much on it in the beginning. So yeah, maybe I am a closeted idealist (shhh), but where does that leave me?

I have a good friend named Jenny that I met at summer camp in 7th grade; we discovered we had the same birthday, both born out of this country, at the same hospital 9 minutes apart. Our little sisters even share the same name. While I grew up determined to be fiercely independent, lover of camping and backpacking and a tomboy, she moved to California and became the opposite.

She called me at the crack of dawn this morning and dropped the bomb that her boyfriend of 5-years just dumped her because he saw no future. “Why?! Why does it have to happen to me? [Well, Jenny, it really does happen to a lot of people. I want to be married with kids and I thought he was it.”

If someone that believes so much in love can’t get it right, what chances do I have when I’m not even looking? Should I read this book? He’s adamant that it will change everything for me.

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