by Jane Moneypenny

I may have lost my mind.

I’m going to NYC for Labor Day. This isn’t the smartest move, but the adventure carpe diem part of my heart is yelling at me, so I went ahead and did it. I’m worried, scared and excited to see old friends, but mostly to see Pen. Truthfully, he’s been so busy that there hasn’t been a truckload of enthusiasm from him, but I think I’m okay with it. If things go south there, I have many many friends to escape to. Better to regret something you did than did not do, right? I gave him an out and he didn’t take it, so looks like I’m about add another ridiculous thing on my list of crazy lately.

I’m also confused why I keep thinking money grows on trees. I’m generally a very frugal careful spender, but the older I get, the more I’ve been throwing it to travel. This year alone, I’ve been to Houston numerous times, St. Louis, New Orleans for Jazz Fest, California and Mississippi for weddings and now to NYC. A week and a half after I return, I head off to the adventure of a lifetime in Tanzania and Kilimanjaro. A week after that, I go back home for a wedding and then Houston again for a competition. Over Thanksgiving, I’m off to Puerto Rico for a week.

Whoever said “money doesn’t buy happiness” lied because if I had money, I could travel forever and travel brings my happiness. My old boss told me, “Have a fudgesicle and chill. You’re doing way too much math.” I don’t know how to quiet my mind down from the doubts, the worries, the “what ifs” of each decision I make. How do I find confidence in these choices?

Time to go play the lottery!