Spring & 27

by Jane Moneypenny

I’ve never been a fan of change. It terrifies me with its quick in and out, shaking everything around, leaving chaos in its wake.

Yet, every time it comes, no matter how scared I am, I attack it full speed ahead, adjusting in a blink of an eye and wondering how I did without it before.

It’s spring, after all. I turn 27 in a week and with it, comes a very bittersweet last week at work, a week vacation and the start of a new job with a new apartment soon after. All I’m missing is a new guy (ha!).

For the 3rd time in 2.5 years, I’m going to be the new kid again. The excitement hasn’t come yet; instead, it’s a quiet sadness about leaving. Despite all the struggles and hatred of my current job for the last year and a half, I’ve made incredible friends and learned to make the best of the situation at hand. I’ve discovered my strengths, weaknesses and that not all battles are worth fighting. I vaguely remember a time when I felt alone and homesick and wondered if my co-workers would ever notice my existence.

And now? I feel like an integral part of the office culture (or the attempt to create one), as well as an appreciated and respected asset to getting the work done. My relationship with this job is like an abusive relationship; near the end, I want to stay, wonder why I’m leaving as things seemingly get better (including a job promotion, a new manager and recognition from my boss of all the hard work I’ve put in). But I know in a few weeks, I’ll feel free and liberated, wondering why I ever stayed so long.

Maybe the new job won’t work out; it’s certainly not my dream job, but it’s a title and salary bump (but not PTO. argh). But I can’t hide behind where I am now; it’s safe and boring. I promised myself I would always move on when I stopped learning, stop being challenged and stopped being happy. So it’s time. It’s a risk, but I have to try!

So here’s to another set of change and hurtling to being closer to 30. 😉

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