Rut

by Jane Moneypenny

A year ago, I was on my way to Africa for a trip of a lifetime.

This year, I’m burning out on work and life and everything in it, with nothing much going on in the near future. I’ve tried everything to shake up my life. Swimming again (it’s really quite incredible how I went from doggy paddling to swimming laps), learning tennis and staying active are among the few hobbies I’ve tried to keep up. I’m even

But it doesn’t seem to fill this gaping emptiness that’s just pushing me through life. I even started on Nutrisystem, but nothing has changed.

Overall, I’m healthier, but emotionally, it feels like I’m just going through the motions. Maybe it’s the lack of travel, having been forced to stay in town July 4th and Labor Day weekends. Maybe it’s the lack of anything exciting. Maybe it’s the lack of goals. Whatever the case, I’m stuck in a rut with a mixture of loneliness, apathy and boredom.

I look in the mirror and I’m so bored with myself. I got a new haircut, but it’s equally blah. I’m working out 3 days a week, eating right but nothing seems to be going my way.

What’s missing? What am I doing wrong?

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