Explore. Dream. Discover

by Jane Moneypenny

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.— Mark Twain

In May 2010, when I took this job, I knew it wasn’t my dream one (does that even exist?) or that it would be much longer than a year. Now, at year and a half, I know it’s time to go.

I was never that happy here from the start. Most of the people are nice, but there’s the occasional few that are just outright bullies to me. One particular team member has been out for my blood since I began. From a mixture of anger and resentment, he has waited for me to slip up at every point of the road. He’s obese, much older, been at this job for seven years and a terrible designer. Oh, and he’s a jackass. Let’s go ahead and call him Cranky Bully. Another co-worker is a twerp with short man syndrome that got beat up in high school and is now a condescending wears-too-tight-little-pants hipster.

I don’t run to my boss every instance of disagreement. Maybe it was reflex from my old job when nothing ever got fixed and my old boss managed to lose 15+ people walking out during a recession. My two wonderful co-workers tattle at each instance so by the time my review comes around, I look like the jerk. There’s even been situations that Cranky Bully has manipulated to set me up so I would get in trouble. There’s been witnesses to his generally assholeness to me, but no one says anything, so I fight alone.

But I’m done. I’m so tired of other people dictating my life. With boys/love, with jerk co-workers, with friends that use me. I work at a small office and a small team, so yes, if I was going to say, I would report it, but there’s no point any more. This isn’t my future and it’s not worth my breath (until my exit interview) to keep complaining.

So my job search begins. And my quest for surrounding myself with good people that I don’t have to chase after. And maybe it’s time I finally start dating…

Here we go.