There She Goes
by Jane Moneypenny
For everyone that’s known me for a short time knows I haven’t really “dated” ever in the traditional sense. Apparently this is not normal.
I’ve avoided online dating for as long as possible. First and biggest reason: fear. Maybe it’s due to never really having dated. Maybe it’s due to never actually having one single good experience with a guy in my life. Maybe it’s due to just putting yourself out there for people to judge.
I’ve heard every case for it: You’ll meet new people. Don’t take it too seriously. You can filter. You can say no. It boosts your self-esteem. It’s fun. Makes for good stories. Free meals!
I’ve heard every reason why I should just go for it: You’ve tried every other hobby possible. You’re cool. You like sports. You’re fun.
So I gave in, but every time I went to set up a profile, I had a panic attack. I genuinely found it terrifying. After a lot of goading and hand-holding, I let go the fear and did it.
A week later, it’s an old hat and I’m already bored by it. It’s funny how much advice you get when you start this dating thing. My closest guy friends told me to never ever reply back to men that I’m not attracted to. They’re experts at this dating thing and are like little birds on my shoulder, making sure I’m not going out with losers with no jobs. My first date Sunday morning to watch football didn’t go great; no chemistry and a lot of red flags but I found myself completely okay after it. It was like a tiny bleep on the radar.*
The most interesting thing I discovered is I rated very compatible with my guy friends that were on there. This isn’t a complete surprised because we’re friends, but I’ve realized I really honestly want someone who’s just like my close guy friends (personality-wise) that I’m actually physically and sexually attracted to. And here, I thought I was trying to avoid dating friends after such bad experiences. Ladder theory, anyone?
This experiment has also really forced me to think about what I truly want. I’ve always thought college education was mandatory, but is it, really? I believe in God (even if I’m a shoddy Catholic) but do I require the same of someone I’m dating?
No matter what happens, I’m pretty proud of myself for taking that giant step. I hope 2012 brings wonderful things; 2011 has been pretty epic.
*Update: Oh geez, let’s call him Mr. Cook (not a chef, mind you) just messaged and asked if I wanted some turkey noodle soup because he made too much. And he’ll drop it off at work (he used to cook in the building that I work). Huh.